hey. well, i always state how im writing to no one - watever, i need to vent. i cant mention names just because you know for the sake of privacy of others, but if you KNOW me, you know who im talking about.
- everyone knows ima lowkey emo person at times & i cant even help that because thats just what comes being part of a scorpio. im a really caring & loving person when it comes to people i care for & like & sometimes i try to show people so much & its a shame because some just dont see it. or maybe they do ? iunoo - i just know i put up alot with people & there personalities & attributes - i mean thats what a "well-rounded" person is considered. i stress over everything & get jealous alot but hey - its only a regular human trait right ? people havento be the most confusing creatures ever.theyshow you many sides & then your expected to adjust to each side you come across of that person. i guess if you like the person enough youll do anything to adjust to their personality. its only worth really if they do the same for you back. no matter how well you think you know someone, you really dont. a person comes with so many attributes you may not know how to handle or accept them [in this case, im having a very hard time]. you can only treat someone howd you wanna be treated ; cliche` but true. you can only hope the other person on ther other side views you the same way you view them : you know on the same level & shit. any kind of relationship is hard ; friends or lovers, or even both. jealousy & a whole buncha nasty moods can afflict the relationship, but whatever it is, if you want it to work, it WILL work ( on both sides that is ).
- i just really hope that in the end its all worth it - like, i hope im fighting for a reason, crying for a reason, getting jealous for a reason - better yet i hope we're fighting for a reason, we're crying for a reason, & we get jealous for a reason. i try to show my affection towards them all the time & i feel i fail. everytime we ge a stronger connection somehow their attitude weakens it. i feel i give this person way too much affection. theres no reason why they should be feeling sad, neglected & all that other shit because i try to make them feel the opposite by giving them reassurng words & always trying to uplift their mood. trying to make their days a little bit brighter by trying to hang out & show them what a good friend can really be like. i dont understand how they still feel those negative feelings when the have someone like me in their life working to make them happy. people dont realize that their attitudes really do affect other people around them. im sad because your sad - why cant you see that ? you do everything you can to possibly feel "shitted" on in the end.
-sighs. maybe i just put too much thought into my feelings w. other people & situations. people come into your life for a reason & i always question my purpose of me being in your life or your in mine ? i thought i knew but obviously not. they throw me off all the time. i feel like im constantly playing cat & mouse. we have this convo all the time & its just this repition. i argue about the same thing & its like aways the same result. when will you seeeeee ? i dont think they quite get it from where im coming from. i feel like i put effort into everything. everytime we have a problem i always hit them up & confront them & try to make it better. im always the first one to make an effort, like whe will you be tho? & they mean too much for me to just leave....
- i hope theres a change, i really want a change.
With all that being said i guess im outro - thats basically all that was on my mind. typical shit that makes me wnt to deck walls. lol ahhhhhh. comment ot just read ; eithers great !
